The Self Coaching MODEL

Every aspect of our lives can be categorized into one of these five categories within the Self Coaching MODEL.

I’ve created a downloadable pdf for you to use as a quick reference. Below, I elaborate more about this MODEL & how to use it to Self Coach.

The Self Coaching MODEL is not a new concept — however, this MODEL in its arrangement, is courtesy of Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School.

Everything starts with CIRCUMSTANCES: these are things in our lives that are factual, out of our control: this includes our pasts, the weather, and others behaviors. How we know it is factual is everyone will agree on it, or can be proven in a court of law. Circumstances TRIGGER our Thoughts

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” 

Viktor Frankl — an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, writer, and Holocaust survivor.

Next are our THOUGHTS: the sentences looping in your minds. They are the narratives we tell ourselves about the Circumstances within our lives. ALL THOUGHTS are OPTIONAL! THOUGHTS are the cause of all of our problems & our successes.
Thoughts CAUSE our Feelings.

FEELINGS: The vibrations in our bodies caused by our thinking. Don’t confuse vibrations with sensations. Vibrations stem from our minds and travel to our bodies — sensations stem from our bodies and travel to our minds. A feeling is ONE WORD: sad, mad, glad, happy, frustrated, elated, anxious, etc.
Feelings DRIVE our Actions.

ACTIONS: our behaviors — what we do and don’t do within our lives — actions, inactions & reactions.
Actions CREATE our Results.

RESULTS: outcomes and consequences of our actions, inactions, or reactions. Results will ALWAYS be evidence of our original Thought.

Learning to use this MODEL in your life is a game changer.  Here are a few helpful tips when navigating the MODEL yourself.

First, practice the act of watching & becoming aware of your mind and the multitude of thoughts swirling around. Don’t judge them, be curious and just become aware. Next, start to fill in the model based on a result, an action, a feeling, a thought, or a circumstance.

Asking thoughtful questions will help maneuver through the MODEL. Here are some questions you can ask: So what? What am I making this Circumstance mean? When I think this Thought, how do I feel? When I Feel this — what actions do I take? What are my actions, inactions, & reactions? What’s the outcome from my action, inaction, & reaction? Does the Result of my actions show evidence of my original thought?

Bonus Hack — learn to use the MODEL to create your goals and dreams.  Just place the result you are wanting into the result line and work your way up by asking your future self those guiding questions.

The more you practice the model, the more awareness you can create in your life, allowing you to become a more deliberate co-creator in your own life. 

Feel free to ask me any questions you might have concerning the MODEL. And if you are wanting to explore some areas (or thoughts) in your life with a Life Coach, please reach out, I am more than willing to work with you through whatever you bring to the table.

REDEFINING BUSY

What is busy, and can I redefine this word for myself?

The dictionary states busy as engaged in action, full of activity.  The Urban Dictionary says: an excuse to not hang out with someone. Also, a nice way of saying no – or not on my priority list.  So, which is it?

At the end of the day, the word busy is generally thrown around as a badge of honor.  But when you look at the feelings that often coincide with the term busy, you get a slew of negative feelings associated, like anxious, stressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed.  Being busy is so subjective, and it doesn’t necessarily equal productivity. 

As I have recently embarked on a new and different career path, which is requiring more of my time.  I find that I am having to renegotiate and realign my priorities with my calendar.  Without the calendar, everything that is needing to be done genuinely feels overwhelming and indeed busy, at least in my mind.  However, when I actually block schedule all that needs to be done to stay on task — it all actually appears to be rather manageable — therefore redefining the word busy for me. 

Do I have as much free time as I had before I began my life coaching course, and the two other courses I am taking along side coaching? No. BUT, I do still have time. And it is time that I am unapologetically learning to schedule to aid me along my journey to fulfilling my goals & dreams. 

I have time for my morning routine. I have time to get showered & dressed for the day.  I have time to get classes & projects done. I have time to get housework done. I have time to go out to lunch with the hubby or friends.  I have time to get content created. I have time for an afternoon coffee.  I have time to cook, eat, and clean up dinner. I have time to kill an hour or so in front of the television. I have time for my evening wind down routine.  AND — I still have time for more.  

I have never calendared like this before.  Putting everything down on the calendar is extremely new to me.  And while I still don’t have it all figured out, I have been able to identify kinks that need ironing out week by week, and new ways to evolve the practice and personalize the process.

Most importantly, I am learning to honor the schedule that I create for myself.  The mental work alone required by me to show up for myself & my calendar is next level, no joke. I think I will be getting some coaching done in this area.  

All this to be said, my end goal is NOT to schedule every minute.  My end goal is to establish harmony with work/ school/ life — without feeling overwhelmed by the notion of being elusively busy.  The calendar actually helps put it all into perspective — making it manageable and effective. 

I have also learned to hack my calendar by having everything that can be routine, be routine (as you can see above in my calendar). My sleep time, morning routine, class times, coaching times, content creation times, meal times, house chores & errands, and evening routine are all scheduled to repeat daily and weekly.  Then whatever is new to my “need to get done’ list for the week, gets plugged into the calendar where I think it will fit according to my priority list.  

This style of calendaring is proving to be revolutionary for me.  I love the clarity it provides, the ease of reference it gives, and, can I say just how cool it is that I can integrate my brand colors into the google calendar process. I can’t believe that I am 48 and I am just now getting this!  Oh well.

*According to the calendar — fun things are to come!

My Morning Routine

My (miracle) morning routine has been a work in progress for nearing a decade now…

Years ago, early on in my personal growth journey, I came across a book that has not just impacted my life, but has ultimately changed it, and in massive ways. The book is titled: The Miracle Morning, and was written by Hal Elrod. Now, if I am being completely honest, this book was no literary masterpiece. However, it was exactly what I needed to read/hear at that specific time in my life.

The brief over and under of the book is this — after his near death experience and during a long road to recovery, Hal researched successful CEO’s & entrepreneurs to help connect some of the dots to their success. He discovered overlapping similarities that they practice that seemed to help aid their day in & day out, essentially leading them to their collective massive successes. Hal then re-organized the information he collected and created a process, a process he now refers to as SAVERS.

S A V E R S is an acronym that stands for Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, & Scribing. According to Hal, these extraordinary entrepreneurs all practiced some form of this SAVERS process. Not only did they practice similar routines, they did it all before their work days ever began, and more importantly, before their days got away from them.

You see, the belief is that if you can take a couple hours every morning, to set and align your intentions, pour into yourself the work required to excel and grow on a personal level — you can then conquer your day, your life, & ultimately your dreams. So my teacher Hal, challenged me to implement these strategies into my morning to see if my life would actually change.

It changed.

Over the years I have worked out the kinks to finesse my own morning routine, it is something that I continually re-vamp. When I feel the routine is getting stagnant I re-evaluate if my goals are still relevant, I reassess the affirmations, the imagery, and the layout. I even tend to change things out throughout the seasons. I absolutely love my morning me time. So here is a quick rundown of what my morning routine looks like.

I wake as the alarm goes off at 6:30, where I quickly pull myself together, gather my things, and sink into one of the corners of my sofa to settle in for a few minutes. First thing I do is fire up the laptop and pull up the slideshow that I created specifically for my morning routine. The slideshow, which is approximately 50 slides of affirmations & visualizations, while some slides have cues to carry me through the routine seamlessly. Below are just a handful of slide examples that are currently a part of my routine.

The first prompt is to journal — this is where I either brain dump, gratitude journal, or future focused goal journal. The second is to grab some water & take my pre/probiotic (on an empty stomach), it’s all about your gut health these days. Then I continue through a series of affirmations and visualizations. At the end I’m prompted to a simple meditation practice, but truthfully I am not as consistent as I’d like to be with this. AND — on a really good day, I would follow my meditation with a gentle 20-30 minute move & stretch session, usually from YouTube. And, while I don’t generally read a physical book that early in the morning, I will listen to an audible book or podcast wh getting ready for the day.

The most recent addition to my morning routine is just showing up. By showing up I mean get showered, get dressed (in real clothes not just my around-the-house lounging attire), fix my hair, and put on some makeup (usually minimal). I don’t have to be dressed for a cocktail party, but I do need to be dressed to feel confident enough to go to the store, to get coffee, to get lunch, for any unplanned errand, — or at the very least welcome an unexpected guest or doorbell delivery.

These action steps have taught me a lot about myself. My morning routine has taught me how to commit to myself & my calendar — how to plan for a bigger future — how to be grateful for every morning I wake up to — and to set stringent intentions to prioritize me, my dreams, and my day — before my day runs away from me.

I not only cherish my morning routine, I look forward to it, I honor it, and I guard it. I try not to miss too many mornings, too often, or too consecutively. Everytime I do let my morning routine slip, I end up grumpy, unsettled, unproductive, and nowhere near where I want to be. As opposed to when I am consistent, I show up more optimistic, settled, productive, and feeling as though I am moving in the direction of fulfilling the life I am intentionally co-creating.

This is my (miracle) morning routine.

How my Morning Macchiato is a form of Mindful Meditation.

You might be asking, can a morning macchiato really be a form of mindful meditation? Let’s see!

This weekend, as I was sipping my macchiato and chatting with the Mr. I started to wax rhapsodically about my coffee, and why I love my weekend morning ritual. He pointed out how it sounded to him like mindful meditation. Ok Mr. smarty pants!

I, of course, being familiar with the concept of mindful meditation, had never correlated it with my love affair of my weekend coffee ritual. When I got home I decided to ask the Google for a clear definition of mindful meditation. Low and behold, the hubby was right.

Here is what Google said . . .

Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356

So let me set the scene for you. I’m sitting in a courtyard flanked by several local establishments, one of them being my local coffee shop. The architecture is a charming colonial brick with a ton of windows and adorable awnings to boot. A flower & herb border, everywhere there can be one, and potted plants to fill in the gaps. The large oak tree that resides streetside shoots out like an umbrella providing abundant dappled shade throughout the courtyard at that time of the day.

The patio is speckled with wrought iron patio tables & chairs, along with green umbrellas to match the ‘green’ theme, it being nestled inside the town of Gruene and all. Situated in the center of the courtyard is a water fountain feature that was recently, and regrettably, turned into a flower bed. That being said, imagine the last nine years with this lovey fountain spouting water from the top and overflowing below into its reserved basins. Upon which birds would come, drink, bathe, and play, much to the delight of every onlooker and patron in attendance.

Visually, this setup is simply charming. Audibly it is equally the same. And, when the birds aren’t chirping, or the wind whistling through the trees, the local restaurant is playing some vintage and jazz mix through the exterior speakers.

I haven’t even mentioned the coffee – my sole purpose for being there. The shop, Kora Kora, has passed through three different owners since I have begun frequenting the establishment. And, for the most part, the coffee has remained pretty much consistent.

I initially found the shop shortly after my month in Italy, back in 2013. Quick story – upon arrival back in the USofA – and after a very sad & quick goodbye to starbucks – I came to this local coffee shop and explained to the master barista (specialist, magician, whatever you want to call him) Josh, what I had just experienced in Italy, and what I was looking for. When I first tasted the tiny cappuccino he made for me, I sighed with such relief and almost cried with utter joy. I also never looked back, and have been a loyal customer ever since.

Couple the courtyard scene, the coffee, and 9 years of nostalgia, and my weekend ritual is just that – a ritual. From first walking into the café – to greeting the barista’s behind the bar – to then being asked if we want our usuals – to sitting outside in the pleasant temps under the dappled shade – to inhaling the aromas of the espresso roast – to finally taking the first sip. Yeah, it’s totally mindful meditation!

My heart sings in ways I never would have imagined, all while smiling above the rim of a coffee cup. The experience of being present while enjoying the simple pleasures of life – that is bliss, and unapologetically so!

And this is how my morning macchiato is mindful meditation!

Port A Getaway

A couple weeks ago, we decided to skip town to the beach, for a Port A Getaway. So glad we did too, note to self though, two nights was not enough, three nights at the very least next time. 

We booked a stupid cute VACASA condo at the Palmilla Beach Resort, and the condo did not disappoint. Super adorable & coastal chic, whoever designed this space thank you, it was the perfect balance of coastal & comfort, and exactly the environment I needed to escape to.

The resort itself is utterly charming!  This tranquil and coastal community dazzled me with the sun bleached colors and its 50 shades of aqua & blue.

I think I found a few future beach vacation home possibilities. 😉

While we were there we decided to rent a beach/ golf cart to fully enjoy the 73 degree temps for our two days stay.  The cart allowed us to maneuver from condo to beach to town, then back to condo without sacrificing the scenery, the sun, and the salty air.  Cruising beach-side was pure bliss. 

We also enjoyed a few restaurants while there in Port A.  Funny enough, my “mad” food photography skills never reared themselves, oops – I, instead, simply dined with the others and soaked in the moments. 

However, the fish tacos were tasty at Fin’s and they paired well with the pirates punch I enjoyed. The second day, at Lelo’s, I savored my swiss portobello sandwich that truely rivaled my mango margarita, it was too close to call.  But, if you know me at all, my true delight was my single shot wet macchiato from Coffee Waves every morning. It was so yummy, thank you Coffee Waves.

Overall, it was an immensely successful getaway to Port Aransas. 

Next time we’ll stay for more days.  Enjoy an extra macchiato, or two. Dip our toes in the Gulf for a bit longer, breathe in an abundance of salty air, soak up as many sun rays as possible, and ultimately collect just a few more of life’s precious moments.

If you had 3 days to getaway, where would you go? Are you a beach fiend like me? Are you a mountain lover who wants to hike and explore nature? Or, are you pulled into the city with all the hustle and bustle of bright lights and people?

Leave a comment below, I’d love to know where you’d like to go to getaway?